Wednesday, June 10, 2009

If you will, and I think you will.

Allow me to pause for a minute and tell you about all the Really Big Things that are happening to me. I should preface this post by saying that, for the past couple of years (since graduation, really), I've felt so static. Yes, I moved to New York. Yes, I started college. Yes, I went to London by myself. And on and on and on. INCREDIBLE things have always happened to me, or around me, and I'm certainly not trying to downplay my good fortune or anything like that.


I have been stuck. I have the occasional great class, a wonderful advisor and an off-and-on appreciation of just about everything I see. But still, I've always felt like nothing was happening. Despite all my efforts to be proactive and get things going, I could never pick the thing (or things) that I was good at. I could never get busy enough, or care enough, to really push myself. As much as I stressed, I was totally taking it easy and not even exploring my potential. Gosh, that sounds egotistical. Here's another bit of ego: I'm good at publicity. I'm a good writer and, with time, I'll be understanding obscure literary references with the best of them.

Now, though, I am ecstatic. My life is moving so fast, and I have at least the next few months FULL of things to keep me occupied. My plane for home leaves in about five hours, and I'm planning to see a lot of friends, some old teachers, and talk to my daddy about money (scary). There will also be LOTS of reading (Lee and Gruber, specifically), and a fair amount of writing (outlining the 4 or so Woolf papers that sprung into my head at the Conference, publicity write-ups, and some data searches).

I have so much to say about the Woolf Conference. It was my first one, and I'm SO SO SO SO grateful that I had the opportunity to attend, to give a paper (a little one, but still), and to meet so many amazing people. If anyone would have told me even a month ago that I would have met the Woolfs, Katherine Lanpher, many random Woolf scholars and been able to use the phrase "on lock" and mean it---I would've laughed. Actually, I would've rolled my eyes, but whatever. I'm trying to not go into too much detail, because I'll just start gushing in a completely not-cute way. BUT--it was my first semi-independent publicity endeavor and it went AMAZINGLY well (how well? check back soon.).

As bummed as I am that it's over, I'm completely jazzed and ready for my junior year (scary) of college, for study abroad, for Woolf 2010, for EVERYTHING--even the bad stuff.

No comments: